Feelings of the Emotionless
by artemis-nz
Summary: AU: Meet Kazuki. Not human, supposedly emotionless. But when he must pretend to have emotions, what will happen? Can one made, not born, be ever truly human? Non-slash Karen/Nataku.
1. Fear

**Not sure how this turned out... it is meant to be the first chapter of a fic, but I'm really not sure if I should continue – if anyone wants me to, I will – otherwise it can remain a very weird one-shot.**

**This chapter is therefore just a kind of teaser – if I do continue the chapters will be longer.**

He has no emotions.

"Kazuki."

The deep voice bids him enter the room, and he does – because he has no emotion, so he will do as he is told.

Standing before the tall man, he waits; the man will talk only when he is ready, and not before – and the one the man calls 'Kazuki' knows not to speak unless spoken to. But he does not care, for he has no emotion.

"Kazuki", speaks the man, again.

"Yes, Father. What is it you require of me?"

Kazuki calls the man 'Father'... of course, the man is not really Kazuki's father, but the man likes Kazuki to call him that, so Kazuki does. He does not mind; he will do whatever the man tells him to do. He always has, and always will.

"Are you happy?" asks the man. His voice is quiet, but it is very deep and holds great power... and great authority.

"No, Father", replies Kazuki. "I am not happy; I cannot feel happiness. I know no emotion."

But the man knows this already – why, then, does he ask? Kazuki wonders, but he will not question – it is great foolishness to question the man he calls Father.

"Good", the man says. "Very good. Are you ready, then, to do what I next ask of you?"

"Yes, Father. I will do whatever you tell me to do."

The man laughs then, and Kazuki must look up in order to see the man's eyes as he stands, because he is so tall.

"You will go to a place, then. You will pretend to be human – everyone must believe that you are human, there. Do you understand this?"

"Yes, Father. I understand."

But the man is not yet finished.

"That is good, Kazuki. But there is one thing. Be wary. Because you are pretending to be human, you must act human – pretend to _feel_."

"I do not understand."

"To feel, Kazuki, is to have emotions."

"I have no emotion, Father."

"No. But you must pretend that you do. And you must be wary - you must _pretend_ only to feel... but you must not feel. You must show emotion, but not be feeling any. Do you understand this?"

"I understand, Father."

"Good."

And it is good, because Kazuki is doing what the man tells him to do; so it must be good.

The man runs a careless hand through Kazuki's hair, and Kazuki shivers. He knows no emotion... but this man, whom he calls Father; he can make him shiver. In fear? In anger? Kazuki does not know, because he cannot really feel any of these things...

"Go now", says the man, interrupting Kazuki's thoughts.

Kazuki turns to leave, but the man stops him.

"One more thing", he says. "Your name – Kazuki – it is too uncommon, and will draw attention... you must take another name instead while you are on this mission. What name will you take?"

"Nataku".

He says this without thinking, and the man smiles – Kazuki shivers again at the sight.

"Very well. Go then... Nataku."

And Kazuki, now Nataku, leaves as quickly as he can without appearing to hurry, because he no longer wishes to be in that room, where a tall man sits and smiles in a way that can make the emotionless now feel... fear.


	2. School

There is a curious ringing sound, and the people standing around outside the building begin to go in. Kazuki follows, because he has no instructions from anybody what to do and decides that he shall just copy what everyone else does instead. Some people – teenagers they are, Kazuki notes – go inside different rooms, and Kazuki looks down at the piece of paper he has been given. '11E', it says in bold, black writing. There is a door next to him also marked '11E' and Kazuki goes through, seating himself at an empty desk as other people are doing.

A young lady walks in just after he has done so – she stands out from everyone else because she is older, and because her vivid red curls seem to shout out for attention anyway.

"Good morning, class", she says, her low voice warm. "Today we have a new student..." and she gestures to Kazuki to stand and introduce himself. Kazuki does not mind this; he has been instructed by Father what to do.

So Kazuki stands, his chair scraping the floorboards.

"Good morning", he says, voice neutral as always. "Nice to meet you; my name is Monou, Nataku."

The red-haired woman nods for him to sit again, and smiles at him from across the room.

"Thank you, Mr. Monou, my name is Miss. Kasumi – I will be your teacher for the year. Class, I hope you will all make Mr. Monou feel welcome."

There are various nods and smiles from around the room, but Kazuki stares straight ahead; he does not enjoy so much human contact at once, and he is unsure of quite how to behave to all these unfamiliar faces.

When the red-haired woman begins to talk, and the people around him take notes from the board in front of the room, Kazuki simply copies again, but he is quickly finished – he writes far faster than those around him, and what they are learning about seems not only dull but also completely unnecessary. Kazuki instead takes note, subtly, of the teenagers around him – there are both males and females in the room, some more interesting than others.

There is a boy on one side of him, for instance – instead of taking notes, he spends all his time watching a young lady on the other side of him. The young lady determinedly ignores him, but it is obvious to Kazuki that she knows she is being watched.

Then there is another male in front of him that Kazuki finds mildly interesting; not because he is not copying notes, but because he has a large purple bruise on his cheek that is not quite covered by some kind of powder – Kazuki idly wonders how he got the bruise and why he has tried to hide it.

The time goes on like this for a while, sometimes with the class copying down different notes, other times just listening – or pretending to – while the red-haired woman talks about poems, or history of various places, or calculations, until finally the ringing sound goes again and the woman dismisses them with a nod and another smile.

"Thank you, class, you may leave."

Kazuki follows everyone back outside – some people leave the grounds altogether while others simply sink themselves down under trees or on benches to eat some food. Kazuki is unsure again of what to do – he is only vaguely hungry, and he did not bring food anyway. So he sits against a tree to think on what Father has told him to do.

The last night, Father had called him back in to explain things in more detail, about the place he was going which he referred to as 'School', and about the person he must find out about.

"Her name is Karen", Father had said. "I don't know her last name; nobody in the organisation does. Your job is to find this out, along with as much other information as you can."

"Father. How will I do this? Must I talk to her and ask?"

"No. That will make her suspicious – she must not find out who you are. Remember always to use the name I have given you; to everyone you shall be Nataku Monou. The papers I have given the school state that your Mother is dead, and that I, as your Father, am named Fuma Monou."

"Yes, Father. How will I find out the information if I cannot ask?"

"You _may_ ask, just not her. Ask around at school – subtly – the students who go there may know. All I know so far is that the woman's name is Karen, and that she has red hair. Do you understand your assignment, Kazuki?"

"Yes, Father."

So was this woman who sat in front of the class the woman named Karen? Kazuki was uncertain – after all, there would likely be more than one woman with red hair at this place called School. And Kazuki could detect nothing threatening about the woman – she was thin, and not very tall or commanding as Father was. So perhaps the woman was not Karen-

"Hey, Monou!"

Kazuki looks around – the male who had been staring at the young lady beside him in the classroom was looking at him.

"Your name's Monou, right? I'm Sorata – Sorata Arisugawa. But you can call me Sora – everyone else does!"

He holds out his hand, smiling widely, and Kazuki takes it, as Father had instructed him to do if someone introduced themselves.

"Thank you. You may call me Nataku", he says politely.

Sorata's smile widens even more, if possible, and he gestures to where two others beside him are standing.

"Cool. And these guys are my pals – Arashi Kishu and Kamui Shirou."

Arashi nods rather stiffly but smiles anyway, and Kamui smiles also, and murmurs, "nice to meet you."

They sit down beside him and start chatting to one another, sometimes throwing a question at Kazuki, but mostly just arguing among themselves. Kazuki does his best to answer the questions, but has to think a while before speaking in case he gives something away; Father was very clear on what not to say.

"So Nataku, how do you like the school so far?"

"Hey, where'd you go before coming here, Nataku?"

Kazuki answers the questions nonetheless; saying that he found the school different to anything else he'd experienced (which was quite true), and that this was because he had been home-schooled before coming.

"How come?" asks Kamui to this.

"Because... because my Father wanted to make sure I got the best; he said he would do it himself to make sure that I did."

"What about your Mother?"

This quiet question came from Arashi.

"My Mother died many years ago."

Arashi looks away and her cheeks go red; she mumbles an apology, and Kamui nods and says that his Mother also died, in a fire about a year ago.

Sorata looks sad for a minute, but then the grin returns and he says in that case, he would make sure to look after Kazuki well and show him around.

And when the ringing sound goes loudly yet again, Kazuki's head is spinning with all the name's and faces he is not yet used to, and wonders just how he will find out about this woman named Karen with the red hair, and why Father desires the information on her so badly.


	3. No Easy Task

Kazuki wakes the next morning, wondering what it was that he dreamt about. Of course, this was silly, he reminded himself – because Kazuki never has dreams. Humans have dreams... Kazuki does not, and will never, have them.

Father is already out, and Kazuki is... well, not happy, but neither unhappy, that he will not have to face that man this morning. Not until after 'School' anyway, and that suits Kazuki just fine.

-

"Hiya Nataku!"

"Good morning, Sorata."

Sorata greets Kazuki as he greets everyone – happily and enthusiastically. Kamui gives a shy smile, and Arashi nods briefly before going back to glaring at Sorata.

"HEY GUYS, HOW'RE YOU DOING!"

Kazuki turns his head and watches as a young girl bounds up and starts asking questions a mile a minute – she is even more enthusiastic that Sorata, and more than twice as loud. Sorata however appears used to it.

"Hey Yuzuriha, wondering if you'd show today... how come you didn't yesterday?"

The girl who is apparently named Yuzuriha falters a little, and her eyes dim.

"Oh... my Inuki was sick, I couldn't just leave him all alone, so I stayed with him all day... BUT HE'S MUCH BETTER NOW!"

Her smile returns at this, and so does her voice volume. It sets Kazuki's teeth on edge, but nobody else makes comment or even appears to notice, so Kazuki takes it as the usual thing.

"BUT WHO'S THIS?"

Yuzuriha finally spots Kazuki, and she introduces herself properly, before declaring very loudly indeed that they would be great friends.

Then the ringing sound again – which Kazuki discovers is called the school 'Bell', and people file inside as they did yesterday.

The red-haired woman comes in a little late, her cheeks flushed from running. She drapes her crimson coat over her chair and smiles around at everyone.

"Good morning, class, sorry to be a little late this morning."

As classes go on, Kazuki wonders who to ask about her. All he really needed, he decides, is to find out her first name – and many people must know it. Then if her name is Karen, he can go on from there... why would Father want this, though? What had the lady called Karen done to draw his attention?... Kazuki is so deep in thought that he does not notice that for the first time he is questioning Father, or that the classroom is slowly emptying.

"Hey, you coming Nataku?"

"Oh. Yes, I am coming."

The bell has rung, and most students are already seated outside.

Yuzuriha joins them under the same tree as yesterday.

"Hey, didn't ya bring anything to eat, Nataku?"

"No. I am not hungry."

"OH COME ON, YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING!"

"Yeah, its bad for you if you don't. Here, you can share mine."

Kazuki shakes his head, but Sorata insists anyway – Kazuki finds himself with a handful of food he has never even seen before, much less eaten. Hesitantly, he begins to eat.

"It's... _good_", he says.

The disbelief must have shown on his face, because Sorata laughs.

"'Course it is – haven't you ever had chips before?"

He gasps as Kazuki shakes his head, his face a picture of mock-horror.

"Well that just won't do", he says, arms crossed. "From now on you'll have to try a bit of everything."

Kazuki does not argue.

He watches Kamui for a bit, out of the corner of his eye. Kamui must have seen him anyway, because he turns to face Kazuki properly.

"What?" he says.

"I was just wondering... how you got that bruise on your cheek."

Kamui's hand flies up to touch it.

"You... you can see that?"

"Yes. It is not quite hidden under the white powder."

Arashi looks over, as does Sorata and Yuzuriha. Kamui sighs.

"Yeah guys, I got into another fight."

"_Another_ one?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?"

Kamui's cheeks flush pink, as he says that he didn't want to worry them.

"Does Subaru know?"

"Yeah. I told him – but I just don't want everyone at school knowing, that's all. Besides, they started it. I couldn't just stand there and let the punch me..."

"Who is Subaru?"

Kamui looks over again.

"Sorry, I forgot you didn't know... Subaru's my guardian."

"Guardian?"

Kazuki does not know what 'Guardian' means.

"Yeah. You know, since my Mother... and Father never stuck around, so..."

"Oh."

So Subaru looks after Kamui but is not actually related... does this mean, wonders Kazuki, that Father is my Guardian?

The chatter resumes for a while, and Kazuki uses the time to think of how he can ask about the red-haired woman. It proves surprisingly easy, though, because Sorata raises the topic himself.

"So, what do you think about everything so far, Nataku? Us guys, and the teacher and everything?"

"I... do not dislike it", he answers, and Sorata rolls his eyes, but before he can comment, Kazuki continues.

"Miss. Kasumi is interesting. Do you know more about her?"

Sorata grins.

"Ooooh, does someone have a crush on the teacher? Not that I blame you – pretty much every guy here does, or did at some point... yeah, I know some stuff. I know her name's Karen... _and_ that she's single..."

Kazuki does not know what Sorata means by the word 'single', but decides not to ask.

"... yeah, she's a real babe, with that red hair and everything..."

He trails off as he spots Arashi glaring at him intensely.

"Of course, she pales in comparison to your beauty, Missey", he quickly finishes off with a nervous look.

"OH, YOU GUYS ARE JUST SO CUTE TOGETHER!"

Sorata nods and smiles, and Arashi blushes this time, muttering under he breath.

"She thinks I'm... cute?"

But that is all Kazuki needs; now his job is to find out as much about this woman as possible... not, Kazuki realises as people go back to the classrooms, an easy task.


	4. My Family, My Friends

**To all reviewers (okay, so not many at this point, but whatever): Thanks for reviewing, and I want to point out that although 'Nataku' is certainly more uncommon than the name 'Kazuki', this is an AU – in this universe, Nataku is not that uncommon, so just bear with, please. I just wanted to make it that way because Nataku believes that Kazuki is his true(er) name, so in this fic I wanted to make it as his real name. Ergo, his under-cover name is Nataku.**

Once again Kazuki experiences a strange sensation, right in the pit of his stomach, as he stands before him. Father. And Father is looking at him as if he knows it – lips pulled upwards at the corner in the faintest of smirks.

"Kazuki."

"Yes, Father."

"Proceed with your report."

"Yes, Father. For one week now I have been at the 'School', and have found out as much as I could without making the people there suspicious. There is a teacher there with red hair named Miss. Kasumi – I later discovered that her first name is indeed Karen."

There is a long silence, and Kazuki is feeling uncomfortable – is Father displeased with something? If he is, he does not show it, but he leans forward in the chair a little at stares at Kazuki intently.

"Is that all?" he says eventually.

"Yes, Father. I did not want to ask too many questions at once lest people begin to question my own motives."

This appears to satisfy Father, because he leans back and relaxes his gaze again. Kazuki turns to leave.

"Kazuki. Did I give you my permission to leave?"

Kazuki turns back; the sensation in his stomach that had begun to recede is now much stronger.

"No, Father."

"Hm. I wonder... does the fact that you are among humans disrupt you from your assignment, Kazuki?"

"No, Father."

Father stares at him again, and Kazuki dislikes what he sees in his eyes at that moment. He does not know what it is, but he does not like it. He wishes he could leave, but Father has not yet given him permission, and to leave the room when he has not been given leave would be-

"Kazuki. You are not human, for humans are weak and full of unnecessary emotions. Never forget that – if you do, you may find it has serious... consequences. Do not ever doubt this."

"No, Father. I understand."

"Do you?"

His mocking laugh fills the room; but Kazuki does understand – he understands perfectly. He will have to be more careful in the future – another slip-up like this, and he has no uncertainty in his mind that Father will deal with it in ways that may make the sensation in Kazuki's stomach unbearable.

-

"Good morning, class!"

Miss. Kasumi's voice is as cheerful as ever; Kazuki has found that he likes the sound of it in the morning, and he is getting used to the routine of learning and listening. Some of the learning is even occasionally interesting, and when Miss. Kasumi lets the class talk for a little on their different opinions on varying topics, Kazuki is content merely to listen. He has never joined in though; half the time he does not understand what is being spoken about, and the rest of the time he keeps his opinions to himself. Miss. Kasumi, however, has sharp eyes.

"And what do _you_ think?" she says that morning, looking Kazuki directly in the eye.

The class has been discussing the role of family, oddly enough, and Kazuki wonders just what to say. Some people think that family is good no matter who they are, while others argue that their friends should be family enough. Kazuki is not quite sure what to think, but Miss. Kasumi, not to mention many people seated near him, are looking at him expectantly, so...

"I think that family is very important", he says finally, and he manages, just, to keep his voice perfectly steady, and his face impassive. "But", he continues, "family should not be a person's sole comfort in life."

He should stop here, his mind tells him, but the words are pouring out in a river now, and Kazuki ignores the voice and keeps going.

"Some people don't have family", he says, and this time, his voice is not as toneless as he would wish. "Or some people don't get along with their family. And if that is the case, then people should respect their wish to keep up with their friends and enjoy what time they have with them."

The people around him agree, from their nods, and begin again to discuss it among themselves. Miss. Kasumi, however, is quiet, and Kazuki notices her looking at him intently... did his voice sound odd, wonders Kazuki? Or perhaps his face showed something...?

But the moment passes, and Miss. Kasumi does not comment. Perhaps after all it was just in his imagination.

But then again, perhaps not – for when at the end of the day the bell rings for dismissal, Kazuki, not in any particular rush to get home like the other people seem to be, begins to walk slowly out but is stopped by Miss. Kasumi's voice from behind him.

"That was a good contribution you made in class, today", she says, quite softly. "I'm glad to see you fitting in here, Mr. Monou."

Kazuki surprises himself by saying what he does next.

"You may call me Nataku."

It is not so unusual; Miss Kasumi, a more casual teacher, is on first-name terms with most students in her class, but Kazuki can see that she is pleased nonetheless.

"Thank you, Nataku. Now, shouldn't you be getting home?"

Kazuki shrugs; he knows that Father will not likely be home until very late.

"I don't... I mean, of course, I should be getting back."

He swallows quickly what he had been about to say instead, bows slightly in respect and farewell, and leaves the room, his steps slow and measured. His mind once again berates him for being so careless with his words and his actions; he should not have been so brash in speaking out in class, and he should certainly not have been so at-ease with Miss. Kasumi; the enemy, he notes now in surprise. Worse yet; his mind reminds him of his failure to retrieve any further information on Miss. Kasumi... and also reminds him of the fact that Father is getting impatient.

So Kazuki walks out, his mind full of things to think on, and his usual observant behavior fails to note the fact that Miss Kasumi is staring after him, with wonder and something very like concern on her face.


	5. Thin Red Line

"We should party tomorrow night."

Sorata grins and waits for everyone's responses. Yuzuriha's is immediate.

"YES! I'd love to go, everyone should!"

Arashi thinks about it long and hard, but finally agrees with a short nod, much to Sorata's delight.

"Oh yeah, it'll be tons of fun, Missey!"

Kamui says he will ask Subaru first – but that Subaru will probably let him. It was going to be on a Saturday night after all...

"Oh, sure, Kamui! You just want to see if Keiichi's gonna go!"

Kamui flushes a bright red at Sorata's loud (and, thinks Kazuki, most likely accurate) guess.

"Nataku? You coming?"

"I... do not know. I do not think I should."

"Oh, come on! It'll be great! Your father will let you, won't he?"

Kazuki shrugs; no, Father would not let him go if he knew, but then, Father wasn't even at home...

"Yes. I will go", he says.

Kazuki is very curious about what this 'party' will be like; he has heard many paople talking about them, but has never actually gone to one before...

-

"Hahaha! Nataku's never drunk before!"

It certainly seems that way to everyone watching – what they don't know is that it is actually quite true. Kazuki is feeling curiously lightheaded, and are the walls moving? Everyone is dancing around him in a frenzy beneath the sparkling lights, so it is hard to tell.

"Uh... I am... going home now."

Kazuki finally manages to get a coherent sentence out, before he stumbles down the street, to a chorus of laughter and shouted farewells. Kazuki concentrates on the path; for some reason he cannot see clearly anymore, and neither can he seem to walk quite straight. It is a relief when he arrives at his house. The light's are all off, as expected, but the door creaks as he opens it, and a light flickers on.

"Kazuki."

"Yes... F-Father..."

Kazuki sways where he stands, and Father waits for an explanation. When none seems forthcoming, he is not happy.

"Where were you, Kazuki? You know I like to know where you are at all times..."

The sound of his voice is menacing. Kazuki wants nothing more than to leave the place, and leave the sound of Father's voice behind, but he knows he cannot.

"I... I was... I do not know what-"

His stutters are cut off abruptly as Father's hand connects harshly with his chest.

"Do not make excuses. And do not think, simply because I am not here, you may do as you please."

Father's voice is lower than usual, and deeper... Kazuki feels ill, his head pounds fit to explode.

"Answer me."

Kazuki can not, because the wind was knocked out of him, and Father is enraged.

He takes Kazuki's arm and drags him into the room where he normally sits and speaks to Kazuki.

"Father..."

"Do not speak. You have had your chance to speak, and would not. Now it is my turn to say what I wish. This... this is your punishment. You would have been better thinking of the consequences of your actions; you have bought this upon yourself.

Father takes a knife and slowly, deliberately drags it across the skin of Kazuki's forearm. There is blood; quite a bit at that. Kazuki watches as it trails down his arm, and trickles across his wrist, and then finally to his fingers where it drips into a small puddle on the floor.

"Does it hurt, Kazuki."

Thankfully, Kazuki has recovered breath enough to speak.

"Yes, Father."

Father stares at him; he searches Kazuki's eyes. What he finds there seems to amuse him, because he smiles, as Kazuki's stomach clenches again. His arm is throbbing, and he desperately wants to lie down, to sleep and not wake for a long time.

"Go, Kazuki."

Kazuki stumbles into his room. He gazes at the bed, trying to sum up enough strength to get onto it, but the blood is still flowing freely, and in the end Kazuki simply sinks down where is is, and stretches out on the floor.

His last fleeting thought before allowing darkness to claim him was on Miss. Kasumi, and what her reaction would be if she could see Kazuki like this.

-

"Good morning, class!"

Things at school go on as usual on Monday, except that Kazuki is uncharacteristically tired. His arm still throbs a little; it had not stopped bleeding when Kazuki had awoken, groggy and still with a headache, on Sunday. From elbow to wrist there is a thin red line that Kazuki has covered as best he can in white bandaging. The long sleeves of his uniform cover it up well; Kazuki is glad that there is nobody to question him. Near the end of the day Kazuki is feeling very weary indeed, as he takes his seat after lunch.

Miss. Kasumi's voice drones on, and Kazuki lets it wash over him. Her voice is quite pleasant, and even soothing. His arms on the desk, Kazuki's head goes to lie comfortably atop them. It is, however, against his will that his drift shut. Dozing, Kazuki dreams.

"Nataku..."

Someone is calling him; he does not quite recognise the voice. Father? Sorata? Kamui? Yuzuriha? It is none of these people. He wants to call out, to find out who is calling his name, but is mouth is too heavy to open...

"Nataku..."

The voice again. It sounds... nice. Kazuki wants to answer. He wants most of all to tell the voice to use his real name, but the voice continues, and it is getting louder...

"Nataku!"

With a jerk Kazuki awakens.

Miss. Kasumi is standing above him, and the classroom is empty.

"Nataku...?"

Her voice is not angry, but questioning.

Kazuki stands up as quickly as he can, and a wave of dizziness assaults him. With an effort, he remains on his feet. Miss. Kasumi has seen a fleeting look on his face, though, and this time looks determined to find out what it is.

"Nataku... something's wrong... won't you trust me enough to tell me?"

Miss. Kasumi is very direct, as usual, and her voice, though soft, is still quite firm.

"No... I am very sorry for falling asleep, Miss. Kasumi. It will not happen again."

Miss. Kasumi sighs.

"No. I'm not angry with you, Nataku. You are a good student... there must be a reason for this."

Kazuki wants so much to tell her... but she is the enemy... he cannot... Father would...

A range of expressions are rapidly displayed on his face as Miss. Kasumi watches, until a gasp is heard from her.

"Nataku... your arm..."

Kazuki looks down, and with a feeling of horror sees that his sleeve has slipped up, so that a good inch of white bandage is showing underneath.


	6. Guilt

Now Miss. Kasumi is looking at Kazuki blankly; it is as if she cannot quite process what she is seeing. Kazuki doesn't know what to do. He simply stands there, waiting for a reaction and wondering what Miss. Kasumi will do – what she _can_ do.

Miss. Kasumi then pulls herself together.

"What happened, Nataku?"

"I got cut. That is all."

Miss. Kasumi persists.

"Yes, but how? Please tell me."

"I... no."

"You won't tell me?"

"I cannot."

Miss. Kasumi sighs. She is disappointed, Kazuki can see, but also defeated – she cannot force Nataku to say anything he does not want to say, and neither has she any proof of what she suspects.

"Nataku... I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on... you do know that, don't you?"

"Yes... and I cannot tell you. If I do, you will try to help me... at the cost of harming yourself."

Kazuki turns to go – he has already revealed too much. Miss. Kasumi talks softly from behind him.

"Nataku... please be careful. You must do what you think is best. But, if you ever need help, or just someone to talk to... well, just know that I'm here, that's all."

Kazuki gives no sign that he has heard. All his senses are now screaming at him to get out, and to ignore what Miss Kasumi has said.

But most of all, his mind tells him that he must ignore the one thing that tells him different.

"I have no heart", Kazuki says to himself, very low. "I have no heart, because I am not human. To have no heart is to have no emotions... I do not feel."

Kazuki lies to himself, and he knows it.

It is not pleasant, the next day, to attend class and find Miss. Kasumi looking at him searchingly from time to time. It is even more unpleasant that, because Father is still out from Sunday to who knew where, Kazuki has not eaten since then. Kazuki feels dizzy again – not from his arm now, but simply because he lacks the energy to keep up with everything going on around him. He does not care much about the food, but he desperately wants to rest – he is too tired to care about anything else, and besides that, his stomach hurts; it would probably reject anything it held.

For that reason, he shakes his head in a definite 'no' when both Sorata and Yuzuriha offer him some of their food at lunch. He pretends not to see the worried looks that pass between them, and evades Arashi's probing questions about his home-life... Kazuki has a sneaking suspicion that Miss. Kasumi has told them to keep a close eye on him. He doesn't mind it really; it gives him a nice sensation to realise that there are people who care, even just a little, about his well-being.

Kamui has a doctor's appointment at lunch; after quickly eating he stands and walks towards the school gates where Subaru will be picking him up. Arashi, Sorara, Yuzuriha and Kazuki walk him there, where they wait for Subaru to arrive.

When he does, it surprises Kazuki.

From the car steps a man; he looks just a little like Kamui himself, even though they are not related in any way. Both have pale skin... but that is not it. Something in the way they talk, or their expressions, set them together... it is as if both have been through some experience that has been hard for them both, but they have come closer together because of it. Kazuki notes also that Subaru has only one good eye; the other looks as if it has been blinded by something.

But what Kazuki is surprised by most of all is that when Subaru steps out and Kamui walk forward, they smile and embrace each other... not as lovers would, nor as casual acquaintances, but as something between brothers and close friends.

It also saddens Kazuki to see this; it makes him feel as though he is missing out on something very important. Kamui and Subaru are not related, but Subaru takes the place as something of a father-figure for Kamui, and both seem to care very much about the other. Father, Kazuki knows, will never care about anyone like that.

At the end of the day Kazuki trudges wearily home. Sleep is the only thing on his mind. That is, until he realises from a lying position in his room, that his assumption about Father not being there was incorrect. He hears the footsteps clearly, and knows that it is Him – the tread of the thick-soled boots is unmistakable.

"Kazuki."

"Yes, Father."

"Report."

Kazuki struggles into a standing position.

"Yes, Father. Karen Kasumi teaches full-time at the school, and has done for three years now. Sources indicate that prior to working there, she worked part-time in various night clubs. She is currently single and living alone; her father died before she was born, and her mother died when she was eight. Karen is now thirty years old, and as far as her Documents go, has no criminal record nor anything else to indicate that she is or ever has been involved with your group, the Earth Dragons."

"I see. Is that all?"

"Yes, Father. I obtained the information from the School Profiles when I could, as asking questions to obtain all this information would have likely raised suspicion."

Kazuki feels like a traitor – Miss. Kasumi, he is sure, whether involved in anything or not, is truly a good person. Besides the now constant feeling of Fear in his stomach, he now detects something else... it is not a pleasant feeling. Kazuki tries to put a name to it... Anger? No, but it is related to that... Guilt? Yes, that must be it, or else why would he feel like he has just betrayed a friend?

"Kazuki. You have told me many things... but have failed to tell me the one piece of information I still need. Where does Karen Kasumi live?"

"I do not know, Father. Her records at the school did not state that information."

It is, of course, a blatant lie; Kazuki knows exactly where Miss. Kasumi lives. But he has resolved not to tell Father... he may have betrayed his teacher thus far, but he will not give Father this... not ever...

"You lie, Kazuki. I think you do know where she is... don't you?"

"No, Father."

It takes all of Kazuki's will to remain standing and still right now, and he clings to the hope that Father is only testing him... that he does not know for certain that Kazuki is lying...

But from Father's smile, Kazuki knows. Father sees right through him, and it was foolish to lie...

Kazuki gasps as a dagger is produced seemingly out of nowhere.

"What do you feel, Kazuki? What are you feeling right now?"

"Nothing, Father... I do not feel. I have no emotions..."

"No? Then pray tell, Kazuki, why you are shaking..."

The cold steel scrapes across his arm again, and the wound there re-opens. Then Father takes Kazuki's other arm – a slit across the wrist appears, and the red that comes with it, not bright but a dark, nearly black red, is proof of just how deep the dagger has cut.

"Goodnight, Kazuki. Sleep now – tomorrow, I am sure, you will have what I want..."

Father closes the door behind him, and Kazuki is left alone.

-

Karen is inside – her clock has just chimed seven times, and the fire in the lounge roars. A cup of tea sits on the table before her, hot and ready to drink. She sits comfortably on the couch, relaxing, when the doorbell rings.

Wondering who would have cause to visit at this time, she pads over is her bare feet to answer it.

What she finds is both startling and alarming.

Nataku stands before her, shivering and pale; his hand rests upon the door-frame still, as if for support.

"Nataku? What-"

He falls, his eyes pleading before they close, and he whispers something Karen does not quite catch.

It sounds a lot like, "Sorry..."


	7. Piercing the Darkness: Happiness

There is a voice, a beautiful voice, that pierces the darkness. It cuts through it like a knife, only much, much softer. It is not cold and hard like steel, but warm and soft and calm. And it is utterly beautiful. Kazuki can hear it, but cannot see it yet; his eyes remain close, feeling too heavy to open just yet. He wishes he could place the voice; give it a name, but it is unfamiliar. It is also quite haunting; this is the voice that he has been missing for so long. This is the voice that every other child has from the time they were born. This is the voice that Kazuki never had, but has missed it nonetheless.

A word slips out of his mouth, by instinct, it seems.

"Mama...?"

A laugh, just as soft and gentle as the humming.

"Not quite", says the voice.

Kazuki is so surprised at the words uttered just beside him that his eyes fly open. Of their own accord, despite the heaviness.

"Miss Kasumi!"

"Lie still – you've lost a lot of blood."

Kazuki does as his teacher says, and contents himself for the moment by looking around. There is a fire at the end of the room; it crackles cheerily and gives much warmth. Kazuki likes the feel of it; it is something Father never had. Blankets are piled on top of Kazuki also, and he lies upon the couch. Turning his head ever so slightly, he can see Miss Kasumi kneeling beside him, a concerned yet also relieved expression on her face.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yes. I am very sorry for troubling you Miss. Kasumi. I just... there was nobody else..."

"Its alright, Nataku, and I'm very glad you came to me when you did. But now that you are here, in this state, you have to tell me what's going on. If this happens again... you may not be so lucky, Nataku."

Kazuki remains silent; he has no wish to endanger Miss. Kasmui's life even further by revealing more information.

Miss, Kasumi sighs.

"If you won't tell me, perhaps I could guess?"

Kazuki is still quiet, and Miss. Kasumi takes his silence for assent.

"Let me start from the beginning... your name... it isn't really Nataku, is it?"

"... No. My name... it is Kazuki."

Miss. Kasumi nods as if this is something that happens every day.

"Kazuki... it is a nice name, much more fitting for you than Nataku, I think. Now, let me see... who did this to you? Who cut you, here... and here."

She touches his wounds softly; they have stopped bleeding, but the red that still shows contrasts strongly with his paler than usual skin. Kazuki shakes his head.

"I cannot tell you..." he says softly. You cannot know; nobody can."

"I think I already do know, Kazuki. It was your father, wasn't it?"

Kazuki nods; he can see it is no use denying it.

"Why?"

This was a little easier.

"He gave me a job to do... I did it badly, and I tried to lie to him... Father did not like that. And when he found out that I had done... felt... things I should not have, he grew very angry. It was my fault. I should have been more careful – I knew Father would punish me for not obeying."

Miss. Kasumi looks a little shocked.

"Nobody deserves this, Kazuki! Look how deep this one is... the blood was a very dark red; your father cut right across a vein! You could have bled to death... was what you did so terrible?"

"Yes, it was, and I knew it was. I am not supposed to feel, Miss. Kasumi. I am... not human."

The words are out now, and there is no taking them back. Kazuki expects his teacher to walk away in disgust, for who would willingly be associated, and even help, one who was not human? Miss. Kasumi, though, does not look as Kazuki expects her to.

"I disagree, Kazuki", she says, a little sadly. "I think you are very human."

This was wrong.

"No, I am not. Miss. Kasumi... I was not born. Humans are born... I was _made._"

"That doesn't make you any more deserving of life."

"But it does. Father said... Father says that one who is merely created is not worthy of life, so I was very privileged to live. I have no emotions, Miss. Kasumi – I do not feel. How can one who does not feel possibly be human?"

Miss. Kasumi is quiet for a moment, clearly thinking hard before she speaks.

"But do you not have emotions, Kazuki? What you said when you came here... do you remember? You said, "Sorry"... why?

Kazuki drops his eyes.

"I said that because... I betrayed you. For my job, I hurt you, and I... I had..."

"You felt guilty. It is a feeling, an _emotion_, Kazuki, and a strong one at that. You do feel; just because you do not often express what you feel doesn't mean you don't have emotions. Every living thing has emotions... that includes you, no matter how you came to be in this world. Tell me, do you want to go back to your Father?"

"No! No... I do not want that."

"Why not?"

"He hurts me, even though it was my fault, and he makes me... he makes me feel..."

"What, Kazuki? What emotion does he make you feel?"

"... Fear", whispers Kazuki, and the all too familiar sensation in his stomach pounds along to his words.

Miss. Kasumi nods again.

"So you see, you do feel, very strongly, about things. You have emotions just like every other living being, and it shows... if not in your face as others' do, in your eyes."

"My... my eyes?"

"Yes... they are... lovely eyes, but sad. Like a lost and lonely child."

Kazuki repeats the words, knowing them for truth.

"Lonely... and lost..."

Miss. Kasumi smiles, and, though a smile is still too much for Kazuki just yet, his eyes show that he now feels another emotion.

Kazuki is happy.

"Miss. Kasumi... I need to go. I do not want to, but for now, I must. Father will get angrier the longer I am away, and I must complete what I have started."

Miss. Kasumi looks very worried, but she knows Kazuki will do as he thinks best.

"Kazuki... please just remember, I will always be here. If you get into trouble, or you need somewhere to stay for a while, I will help you. You have friends, Kazuki... Kamui, and Yuzuriha, and Sorata, and Arashi... and I. And we will be there for you whenever you need us. Just so you know that. Alright?"

Kazuki is very grateful – he knows that he has made some true friends – the thought gives him strength to face Father.

"Thank you very much, Miss. Kasumi... I will see you tomorrow in school."

Kazuki disappears soundlessly out the door, and his teacher closes it gently behind him.

"I hope so", she murmurs, her face grave. "Be careful, Kazuki..."


	8. Scream

The door opens; Kazuki sees Father's shadow tower over him before he raises his eyes to look Father square in the eye.

"Where have you been?" he says.

Kazuki hadn't seen Father when he went out or when he came back in, but Father still knows that Kazuki has gone out – he always does.

"Working, Father. I have found out more information concerning Karen Kasumi."

Father raises an eyebrow, but other than this his face remains impassive.

"Then report", he says, his voice soft. It is also dangerous; Kazuki tries to speak as usual. Emotionless.

"Yes, Father. I walked to a classmate's house; Kamui Shirou. I managed to get the subject around to Karen Kasumi; I was then able to get her address without undue suspicion."

"The address?"

Father's face is changed; it looks greedy and almost fanatical.

Kazuki tells him the address, praying Father does not pick up on the lie. It is a fake address, for Kazuki would now rather die than give away the truth. Luckily, Father, in his impatience, does not question Kazuki further. As Father sweeps out, Kazuki allows himself a small sigh of relief – he has managed to buy himself some time.

"Hey, what's up, Nataku?"

"You look better today – you were looking kinda sick the other day..."

His friends trail off, a little uncomfortably, and Kazuki wonders how much they know.

"Thank you", he says eventually – and he means it. "I... was having a little trouble before... at home... but I am fine, now."

"Good to hear!"

"Yes, we are very glad you are alright... we were... well, worried, about you."

Sorata nods earnestly at Arashi's comment.

"Do you want to talk about it, Nataku?"

This from Kamui, and Kazuki is a little unsure. He does, but still...

"Not really", he says. "But... if you like, you can call me Kazuki... its, ah, a nickname of mine, and I'd rather be called that than Nataku anyway..."

Yuzuriha grins.

"Cool name! Yeah... Kazuki. I like it!"

"Suits you", says Sorata, and Kazuki is glad that his friends respect his privacy when they do not question him further. One day, he will tell them... but not yet. Not until it is safe to do so.

After school Miss. Kasumi calls him up; he nods and decides to now trust her completely... after what she has done for him, he tells himself, he owes her that much.

"Everything alright, Kazuki?"

"I... I think so, Miss. Kasumi. And... I need your help."

Miss. Kasumi focuses her attention completely on Kazuki, her eyes intense.

"I must tell you something, and it is very important. I told you last night that my name was false; do you know the reason?"

Miss. Kasumi gives a sigh.

"Yes... I think I do. The one you call Father... he is involved in a group named the Earth Dragons, correct?"

Kazuki is surprised – Father had been right, after all. Miss. Kasumi was involved somehow – involved enough in some other organisation to be considered a threat.

"Yes."

"I thought so. When you told me who you really were, I began to piece everything together. And... you were also sent here for a purpose... a spy?"

Kazuki nods miserably.

"Yes. And for that I am sorry. I know I have betrayed you."

Miss. Kasumi places a hand gently on Kazuki's arm.

"No, you need not be sorry. You had no other choice, and you were right to ask for my help. I'll do all that I can. Just tell me what you need."

Kazuki gives Miss. Kasumi some information, quickly, before he changes his mind. All the information on his Father that he knows, he tells – anything that could be of use to her. He also tells her something else – a number, and a street name.

"...Just in case. If anything should go wrong... if something were to happen..."

Miss. Kasumi gets up and hugs Kazuki tightly; she can see that he is close to despair.

"Be strong, Kazuki. You're not alone in this... I promise you, I will take action."

Kazuki thanks her and leaves at a rapid pace; he fears that he has already stayed too long. He takes shortcuts home, and never slows until he reaches the house. He is still late though; his heart rate speeds up as he listens for any sign that Father is inside. He cannot hear anything, but Father is never noisy...

The door opens.

Father stands there, his figure dark and menacing. Without a word, he turns and beckons for Kazuki to follow... and Kazuki knows that, once again, he is left without a choice. He follows Father inside, and the door closes behind him, sealing off contact from the outside world.

_'Be strong, Kazuki...'_

Miss. Kasumi's voice echoes in Kazuki's head – he uses the words like a mantra; a protective force that will keep fears at bay.

"Kazuki."

Father's voice is stronger, and breaks through the other voice like it was nothing.

"You have disobeyed me. You have lied to me... do you deny this?"

Kazuki is frozen – he does not move, and gives no indication that he has even heard the question. But Father's eyes bore deep into Kazuki's being; the cold, dark eyes are trained on his own lighter one's, and do not let them go.

And then he laughs.

Kazuki fights not to cringe, but he _hates_ that sound. It is like needles that pierce his skin – it is like the daggers that have already done so. Cold. Hard. Dangerous...

Frightening.

Kazuki begins to shake.

"You gave me a false address, Kazuki... and I do not enjoy being lied to. Did you do so to try and protect Karen Kasumi? You did; I can see the answer clear as day in your eyes... and now you are weak. You have allowed yourself to feel – or rather, have allowed yourself to _believe_ that you feel. And that makes you weak, Kazuki... for emotions are weak. What am I to do with one who allows himself such weakness?"

"Father, I-"

His words are cut off, and he lies suddenly on the floor, looking up at Father. His expression is unfathomable, yet sends chills through Kazuki.

Father reaches down, eyes still locked on Kazuki's own...

From as far away as outside and down the winding road, a scream is heard.


	9. Proof Of Humanity

**Warning: this chapter contains a somewhat graphic sexual situation – yes, it is male/male, so if you don't like it, I suggest skipping the chapter. You _have_ been warned, so no flames, please.**

Kazuki's hearts hammers painfully in his stomach as Father simply looks at him. The pain in his gut is almost overwhelming; Kazuki wants to yell out and call for help, but his voice will not obey him.

"F-Father, what are you-"

"Teaching you a lesson", says Father, his voice velvety smooth. "A lesson that, this time, you shall never forget. I promise you, you will not..."

And Kazuki does scream, then, because Father has just kissed him, slowly and deliberately and crushingly, on the mouth. His scream is muffled by Father's mouth on his own, and Kazuki wants to be sick.

He struggles, but Father is much stronger; always has been, and knows it. His leg connects with Father somewhere, but Father just ignores it and kisses Kazuki even harder, and Kazuki is pinned down by two strong arms clad in black and cannot do anything about it, and Father's next words burn into his head.

"This is what it truly is to be human, Kazuki! See humans for what they really are – and you still wish to be human yourself? Then I will allow you to be one!"

Father's voice is so harsh in Kazuki's ears – he can close his eyes but he cannot tune out what is being whispered to him.

Father puts his hand to Kazuki's shirt – with one sharp tug it is ripped open from neck to belly, and Kazuki writhes with both fear and shame to feel Father's hands crawl down his front. He feels dirty, ashamed... if this is what it is to be truly human, then Kazuki does not want it.

Father fumbles with his own clothes, and Kazuki turns his head away; he does not want to watch this. But Father is cruel – he jerks Kazuki's head toward him by his chin, and forces Kazuki to look as shirt, then pants are discarded.

"Father, stop this, you don't know what you are-"

His words are cut off; Father delivers a blow to Kazuki's head that made his ears ring. Then, with no further warning, Father yanks down Kazuki's own remaining clothing. Somehow, Kazuki is then face down, his eyes facing carpet... he has no more time to think, as Father thrusts deep into Kazuki. No warning is given, and it feels so deeply wrong and shameful, and Kazuki is ready to beg...

It hurt, it hurt so much... Kazuki bites back a scream, feels his teeth sink into his lip and draw blood as he tries to hold back his yells.

"Enjoying this, are you, Kazuki? Can you feel it – feel the pain and the fear and the anger surge through you? This is what is feels to be human... embrace it!"

With those words Father thrusts, and then again, harder, until Kazuki feels that he might split open and faint with the pain...

"Stop! Stop it, it hurts!"

"Yes, it doesn't doesn't it?" says Father, and the pleasure he feels at seeing Kazuki like this is evident.

There is blood on trickling down Kazuki's chin and as Father pulls out and eases back on his clothing while looking derisively down, Kazuki's self-restraint finally breaks. He lets out one truly anguished scream; a name.

"Miss. Kasumi!"

As if by magic the door to the house flies open. There are men; they have guns which they do not hesitate to point directly at Father. Kazuki cannot see how many; his vision is fuzzy.

What he does see, though, is Miss. Kasumi, her crimson coat whirling as she too runs through the door. Her eyes widen as she quickly takes in the situation.

Kazuki crawls toward her; bruised and bleeding, and Father lets him go, a mocking smile still curled around his features.

"How dare you", says Miss. Kasumi, and her voice shakes with barely suppressed rage. "How _dare_ you do something like this to the one who called you Father?"

Her voice holds rage, yes, and also disgust.

Father, however, does not seem fazed.

"Kazuki is my tool; I shall use him how I will", he says, and Kazuki wants to scream again and again and never stop screaming if it will only block out the words that Father speaks.

"How dare you!" says Miss. Kasumi again, but Father, it seems, has had enough. In one fluid movement he has jumped up and kicked the guns out of outstretched hands. His boots connect with arms, chests, legs; more than one cry of pain is heard above the yelling that has began. Father's knife has fallen from where it was hidden in his coat; Kazuki picks it up and holds it in front of him in defensively.

But as Father executes another flying kick, Kazuki's hand seems to move of its own accord, as does Kazuki's mouth.

"YOU"RE NOT MY FATHER!" he screams, and his voice his hoarse but carries; thus, everyone is watching when Father, skidding from the push of his own attack, is carried towards Kazuki, who holds the knife straight out in front of him. As if in slow motion, Kazuki stares as the man he once called Father fall almost on top of Kazuki.

He takes the knife into his own heart.

_Thisisthepagebreakthatdoesn'tfeellikeshowinguprightnowandindicatesachangeofscene..._

Kazuki wakes and is groggy; he slowly remembers events in a haze.

How, after Father had fallen, a warm patch of red spread across his chest and dripped onto Kazuki's own still naked body.

How, after everyone had stood still, momentarily shocked, Miss. Kasumi was the first to move and drape a blanket against Kazuki, who had shaken so hard that he could not even stand up on his own.

How, finally, after things had quietened down so that people were speaking normally again, Miss. Kasumi had decided that her associates could handle things from there on; she would take care of Kazuki herself.

And how, after arriving at Miss. Kasumi's house after a silent car trip, Kazuki could only fall into a spare bed and close his eyes in complete exhaustion.

Sitting up in the bed, Kazuki does what he has never done, or even really thought about, before.

He cries.

Tiny tears trickle down his face; first silently, and then, when the emotions get too much, softly, and then nearly hysterically. Miss. Kasumi rushes in, and when her attempts to calm Kazuki fails, simply holds him as he cries and sobs out his fear, and his anger, and his guilt, and his shame, and his unbelievable sadness at being used by someone in such a way.

A long time later, as his grief finally subsides into softer sounds again, Miss. Kasumi speaks gently; a simple sentence that nonetheless gets through to Kazuki.

"If you needed any proof at all of your humanity", she says, "you need look not further than what is on your face at this very moment."


	10. Epilogue

**The last chapter of the fic! A bitch to write, but hopefully it turned out okay. **

Kazuki holds a newspaper clipping in front of him.

"... the house mysteriously burned to the ground after the alleged break-in, but police have no leads as to what or who was responsible. No bodies were recovered, but previous residents have not stepped forward. Police have declined a statement on that matter, but have released a statement saying that it is believed to be connected to the disappearance of the leader of the 'Earth Dragons' Syndicate. That their known enemy vigil-anti group labelled the 'Fire Dragons' had anything to do with the disappearance, remains to be seen."

Kazuki puts the clipping down after reading out loud to Miss. Kasumi, who nods and sips her tea reflectively.

After that night, Kazuki has been living with Miss. Kasumi in the spare room – he has nowhere else to go, but Miss. Kasumi seems to enjoy his company, and Kazuki feels comfortable at her house – not at all like he felt while living at his former home.

"So, you were part of that group all along? The Fire Dragons?"

"Yes, I was. Still am, in fact, but everything's been cleared up, so now its just a matter of keeping it quiet... do you mind it? My being involved?"

Kazuki thinks about it for a moment.

"No... I do not think I do mind. It is just... odd, to know you were a part of it, when all along you were, are, my school teacher."

This gives Miss. Kasumi the opening she has been waiting for during the past few days. After comforting Kazuki that night, she realised that she cares very deeply for him – more than the simple care of teacher to student. She wants him to be happy – she doesn't want Kazuki to ever fear again what he has been made to fear for so long. Most of all, she is still enraged about the man he called 'Father' – Miss. Kasumi can still feel the pain of her own abuse as a child from her Mother, and feels sick to realise that Kazuki's was so much worse. Now, she doesn't want to let him go – not if it might mean more pain or loneliness for him.

"Kazuki..."

Kazuki watches her intently – it is not usual for the red-haired woman to be so hesitant in speaking.

"I thought... I mean, I was thinking over some things in the last few days, and... well, you don't have anywhere to go, do you?"

"No. Like the newspaper said – the house burned down... even if it had not, I would not wish to live there. I suppose it would not be too difficult finding a place to rent, but..."

He lets his voice trail off – he likes it very much where he is, but does not want to impose on his teacher.

Miss. Kasumi, after a moment spent in awkward silence, decides to just come out with it.

"What would you think about staying here? To live?"

Kazuki's eyes show wonder, and something more that is undefinable.

"You mean, I could live right here? For as long as I wanted?"

"That's right. It would be your home too, Kazuki."

Miss. Kasumi feels nervous, but then finds her fear to be unfounded, as Kazuki does something highly unexpected.

He smiles.

It looks so odd for a moment – a face that showed no expression, no emotion whatsoever – smiling – that Miss. Kasumi is startled. Then she smiles too.

"I would like that very much, Miss. Kasumi. Thank you."

The words are spoken formally, but the smile remains – Miss. Kasumi makes a mental note to tell him that he must smile more often.

"Do you understand what it means, Kazuki? There would be papers to sign... I would become your legal guardian... your legal adoptive Mother. Do you want that?"

Kazuki starts at the word 'Mother'.

"A... a Mother? I have never... I never really... you mean like a Mother that the other people at school have? A Mother like every other child has?"

"Yes."

"Then I would never say no, Miss. Kasumi."

Miss. Kasumi laughs, her relief, and happiness, evident.

"You'll have to stop calling me Miss. Kasumi, then! At least, not at school. And 'Mother' would be odd, after... well, Karen is fine. We can go and inquire about adoption papers tomorrow after school then, Kazuki."

_Thisisthepagebreakthatwon'tshowuprightnowandindicatesachangeofscene. _

"So that's... the whole story?"

"Yes."

Well, no, it actually isn't, but Kazuki does not want to fill in the gaps; he has told his friends only what they needed to know – that his foster-father was abusive, and that he was now being legally adopted by Miss. Kasumi.

"Wow... that's... a lot to handle, Kazuki. I'm sorry we weren't there for ya."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too... we should have asked, we could've-"

"No. You could not have helped. Do not feel guilty, Sorata, and it is all over now anyway..."

"So when do the papers go through?" asks Arashi.

"They should be going through right now – by tonight I will officially be Kazuki Kasumi."

This, Kazuki is very proud of.

"Well that's great. I'm glad it turned out okay then."

Kazuki glances over at Kamui, and then, very carefully, smiles. He has been practicing in front of the mirror, while Karen pretended not to notice.

The smile now, however, draws a delighted giggle and cheer from Yuzuriha, and a look of awe from everyone else before they also grin.

"Gotta be the first time I've seen you do that, Kazuki!"

"You really should do that more often..."

Sorata smothers a laugh at Arashi's comment.

"Really Missy, you're not one to talk! After all the glares you send my way I sometimes think your face'll get stuck that way."

Arashi tries to glare again, but Sorata's easy grin gets the better of her, and she leans over so her head rests on his shoulder. Sorata looks like he's just won himself a year's supply of food. He whispers something into Arashi's ear, which promptly makes her head snap back up and the glare again on her features. Kazuki, though, can see the faint blush tinging her cheeks.

Kazuki is content to sit and listen, then, while his friends continue to chat. Not just content, he corrects himself, but happy. Because Kazuki is no longer emotionless, and though his emotions often come with a price, such as fear, or guilt, or sadness, or anger, it also comes with the good things. Kazuki can feel things like never before, and that will always leave a spark of hope inside Kazuki – hope that no matter what emotion he experiences, even if it is a bad one, there will without doubt be happier times.

And that makes Kazuki smile again; a small, secret smile.

Kazuki has emotions, and Kazuki feels happy.


End file.
